Science

I have recently read a headline or heard a headline somewhere (CNN? NPR? Huff Post? NYTimes?) that indicated that drinking more than two "sodas" per day causes respiratory issues like asthma and stuff.  They didn't specify whether it was the carbonation or the corn sweeteners or the calories so I don't know if it is all about me and my Diet Dr. Pepper addiction.  DDP has no corn syrup or even sugar (unless you are taking on the new manly DDP, "Dr. Pepper TEN" and its 10 calories worth of real sugar).  But all versions are certainly carbonated.  Absolutely.

Of course I almost missed the lead on that story because I was obsessively considering the regional implication of the study referring to the stuff as "soda" and not "pop" or any of the other regional approaches to naming the common beverage.  

After spending a summer in Waltham, Massachusetts when I was nine or ten years old, while my step-dad attended a conference at Brandeis, and discovering that they called long sandwiches, "grinders," even though I grew up calling them "subs" and my Philadelphia cousins called them "hoagies" and Lord knows what other strange variations could be found in my travels, I have developed an eternal fascination with those kinds of regional variations related to food.  

In Pittsburgh a cheesesteak is a hamburger topped with cheese, french fries, and cole slaw on slabs of Italian bread.  In Philadelphia, it's chopped minute steak and Cheese Whiz mixed with peppers, onions, and possibly even pizza sauce on a long roll.  Both in Pennsylvania, that's hardly room to call it a regional distinction.  

I know that we could talk for days about the dramatic regional differences in barbecue from around the country, to say nothing of chili.  And how folks from Pittsburgh decided to call bologna, "jumbo" is completely beyond me, but still of interest.

On the other hand, I'm trying to be more healthy, and all of those foods are out of dietary appropriateness.   One of the keys to calorie control throughout my adult life has been to save myself from drinking anything that involves any calories whatsoever, by having my beloved DDP (or the emergency backup Diet Coke), or iced black tea with artificial sweetener as my beverage of choice.  They both have caffeine, which I feel I need, although seem to be able to do without in lots of emergencies that may arise--fasting, running out at home, whatever.  I even gave it up altogether at one point for five months to make a point that I could, but ew, I hated doing without that little pleasure in my otherwise disappointing existence.  So I have some most days.  And I have respiratory issues.  Don't tell me I have to give up DDP again.  That would be so so so so sad.

One of my favorite short-lived television shows, Kitchen Confidential (combining two of my favorite things--food and actors on whom I have crushes), has an episode where an older chef, aptly played by John Larroquette, offers the philosophical approach to the main character, based on Anthony Bourdain and played by Bradley Cooper, that he would rather die happy having eaten amazing meals, than live a healthy and stoic life.  

So that's what I'm thinking about.  Slim down drinking cucumber, kale, lemon, and green apple juice and eating egg whites for thirty days every so often.  And live forever.  Enjoy pasta with a cheese plate, and fresh raspberries with chocolate whipped cream, and a nice limoncello.  And die with a smile on my face.